30 April 2004 - I'm sitting in the parking lot at Brigade HQ. We came up to draw COMSEC and bring members for the Engineer conference. This is the first I've been off Marez in about 2 weeks (trying to keep my promise). The 28th was Saddam's birthday, and as usual, the S2 was talking about the end of the world, insurgents rising up in mass quantities, cats and dogs living together...the usual. Of course, the attack on the FOB which we spent many many hours preparing for...never materialized. This is the second time this has happened. The first time was the Islamic holiday on the 22nd...and then this past week. Since my last post though, the Brigade as a whole has experienced a few losses. Mostly support soldiers in convoys who don't have up-armored hummvees. We fortunately haven't lost anyone, and the only people we have lost are due to "peacetime" medical issues. Our Task Force IED & Task Force Bullet have been attacked a few times with small arms fire and RPG's, but no casualties. Another of our platoons engaged a number of insurgents who were standing around "watching" as a convoy recovered a vehicle that was destroyed earlier by an IED. These idiots were standing apart from the civilians who were spectating, they were holding the remote still, and they were all dressed more or less alike...the platoon knows they killed at least 4, but the remaining 6 dragged their companions away. Tell tale sign that they were insurgents. Haven't heard much from any of our distant units. They seem to be autonomous to us, and it appears that they're starting to piss off our chain of command. We don't do too much planning for them since they actually report to their supported unit. Our units out at Tel Afar have been getting mortared on a regular basis, but thankfully nothing has hit close enough tot them to matter. Haven't heard anything from our guys down south though...they've been incommunicado except for an occasional report. As a result of all this, we (the staff) haven't had to do a lot of extra planning. It's been rather nice to just get to work on things other then planning.
I assume that this is a good thing for me...last night about midnight, I was dead asleep. I guess I was dreaming, b/c I suddenly had a dream that someone was rolling a bowling ball down the stairs...THUMP....THUMP...THUMP...on the final thump I must've realized what it was b/c I suddenly sat up very fast, jumped off my bed and grabbed my rifle before I was awake and realized I had grabbed my rifle. Just glad I didn't load it. Turns out the thumps that I was hearing were explosions at a FOB over 2 miles away. A vehicle borne IED, RPG's, and mortars had hit right near a FOB in the city. It was mostly ICDC and Iraqi Police who were hit, but a few of the Strykers were hit...nothing serious for them. This FOB gets hit a lot...so does it's sister FOB just across the river from it. Both these FOB's are located in the heart of Mosul, and therefore subject to the brunt of attacks. Although we haven't been hit by a large-scale attack, this base still has been hit by quite a few mortars and rockets. Our towers and gates still get hit by small arms fire...very inaccurate...but still there nonetheless. Every time there's an explosion on the FOB, whether it's a controlled EOD blast, or an actual impact, everyone always wants to stick their heads out and see what it was. Well..I'm guilty of that too. I like a good explosion as much as the next guy.
Something I'm actually glad that we've taken on as a mission other then force protection improvements is we just took 2 nearby villages under our wing. The Muqtar (pronounced muck-tar) is the leader of a village, and after they provided some informaiton on insurgents it became clear that these two Muqtars wan the US's help. We've started to fix their electricity, we've gotten the wells working again (after many many months without clean water), and we've begun to rebuild homes for those who live in the buildings that are falling apart. If I can get permission to, I'm going to try to go to one of both villages, take some pictures, and meet some of the locals. These two projects are definitely feel good projects. BUT they're very long term, and I think we'll leave this area before these two villages are finished. They were so bad, that the children were playing in the streets, amid trash and human waste. We still need to get the medical people into the villages, but once the electrical and water is up and running...we hope it should start to alleviate some of the problems.
I finally got to go work out for 3 days in a row. I've noticed that a lot of the soldiers are in routines now and that concerns me a little. Heck, I've fallen into a routine (more or less). Get up in the morning before sun-up (yeah, I still do that when I can)...go to the gym and workout...be ready for my daily morning meeting...lunch about the same time...meet with my section sergeant after lunch...look for mail after that...and then eat dinner. Fit everything else in between that. Maybe get to watch a movie at night, or work on some paperwork, or catch family online. I still have 3 SOP's that I need to write before the deployment is over with, and I have zero motivation to write them. I know they need to be done b/c I got nothing from the unit we replaced...they had no SOP's. Amazing how important these things are when handing your job off to others. Well...when soldiers get into routines, they get complacent. Many of our civilian officers are told that an officer will start to get complacent around the 3rd or 4th month. We're starting our 3rd month, and I can already see it happening. We started with such a high op-tempo, that now that all our units are tasked with missions, and HHC is well into it's duties, things have slowed a lot, people are being given some downtime, and the complacency is starting to hit. I've heard a soldiers starting to complain about basic things like "There was no mail run today" or "why don't we have ice cream in the chow hall?" Things like that which are a luxury. I just remind myself and those soldiers who complain to me that they could be like the Marines in Fallujah...living in full battle gear...sleeping out in foxholes with nothing but the earth and their assault packs. Not even a blanket for the cool nights. Plus we don't wake up with people shooting rounds over our heads. Here we all thought that coming to the Mosul was going to be worse then going to An Nasariyah (the first location we were supposed to go to). Guess we were wrong.
I hear that my journal is now being read by more then just my family and friends. To those of you who are new to reading this, I welcome you, and wish you the best. If you ever have a question or would like to know something, please email me and I'll answer it if I can...most likely in a posting so that others can see the question and answer. I always tell my soldiers, if you have a question, then someone else has the same question...don't be afraid to ask it.
21 April 2004 - Been a quiet few days since my last post.. Two major things have happened worth noting. First, we had our first major rainfall of the year...1-1/2 inches fell overnight which is substantial for a number of reasons. Mosul usually only gets 2 inches of rain on average every April. The ground here is unable to handle anything more then 1/4 inch of rain at one time. And the base has absolutely no drainage capabilities whatsoever. Needless to say, since the rain hit, all the Engineer units on the base have been hit with drainage projects. This base is listed as an "Enduring FOB" b/c it's slated to be here for multiple years. We can't have a FOB that floods every time it rains more then a quarter inch, now can we. I say contract that out, but there is a big issue about letting Iraqi Nationals on the base, especially amid the current situations. Tomorrow is some holiday which can cause some insurgents to rise up, but I haven't heard anything from our Iraqi friends which leads me to believe that anything that happens won't be too bad. Plus, Saddam Hussein's birthday is at the end of this month, and that is being touted as a potential hot timeframe. We shall see. The other major thing was that the other Engineer unit right up the road from us was hit by a huge IED. It killed one of their soldiers, and as of now, 2 more are in critical condition. If it wasn't for the armor that the Army is installing on humvees, all three of them would've died. It was an IED filled with nails...first we've seen in the Mosul region. If only the soldiers had closed their shatterproof windows...they all would've lived. Pains me to think about the poor family that has gotten that call...makes me sad every time I think about it. Dad, is that why you asked about that specific unit? I know that from now on, I'll have my humvee completely buttoned up...besides, I can't hit anything when we're driving at 25mph through the city much less at 50mph. Why should I put my life at risk just to make it seem like I can? And I think that is what a lot of the officers are beginning to think here too. This armor really works.
So, the other day I was sitting in the DFAC and I was enjoying my bland lunch. AFN (Armed Forces Network) plays select programs throughout the day, and something like Dateline or Primetime Live was playing. They featured a story of a young boy who was born with a tumor so deep in his brain, that the doctors in the United States refused to operate. The tumor was causing pressure, which was also causing the boy to have regular seizures, and as he got older, the seizures were getting worse. The the parents heard about a group of doctors in Australia who were performing a very risky, very controversial, yet very successful operation to remove brain tumors...something like a 90% success rate. US Doctors said that the procedure was too risky to perform. So this couple took their son to Australia for 7 weeks, where he had the surgery done, was in a coma for a few days, popped out of it, and was fine as far as the layman could tell. A year later, the boy is doing excellent. No seizures whatsoever, although the boy complained that he felt like a seizure was coming on, and then it would just go away. Well, my walk back to my hooch is a about a mile away from the DFAC, so I had a nice little walk to go on after I ate, and I found myself thinking about this story. Amidst recent events (like this war and other things), I found myself hoping more and more that my child (and yours) would be healthy. You know how potential new parents all say the same thing...I just want a healthy child...it's amazing how true that is. I tried to imagine having to live through the first 4 years of my son's life watching him have seizures, knowing that he had a brain tumor, and I could barely imagine the anguish and pain. Then I actually asked...how willing would I be to leave my work and everything for 7 weeks to take my child half-way around the globe for an experimental procedure that American doctors refuse to perform b/c of the risk. I guess it was an internal argument against myself (and I was losing), and my retort to that was "Well...your half-way around the globe protecting people you don't even know or have a tie with, despite the risk. How can you ask that question about your own son?" I had nothing I could say. To all of you who are having/have kids...I pray and hope that they are healthy. God Bless all of them.
Jo- thanks for the letter. I guess the "big uns" now begin. I'm a little out of practice, but I have almost a year to get my letter writing back up to the level it used to be. The cherry blossom pictures were wonderful. Really made me miss home...Kathy and I went to see the cherry blossoms last year and I was hoping we would do it again this year...maybe make it an annual trip. What do you guys all say to that? Go into the city for a nice day...maybe a picnic...learn to enjoy the city our tax dollars built and maintain. Deanna, I owe you a belated happy birthday. I should remember your birthday...it's the same day as Kathy's. But alas, I almost forgot hers b/c of this stupid deployment. To you both...I apologize.
Sorry for all the deep thoughts and near emotional moments...there aren't many releases for emotions here, and this and my calls to Kat are truly the only time I let out any emotions other then anger and it's related cousins...disdain and sarcasm. Talk more later.
17 April 2004 - "Carnage everywhere!! The mortarss starting falling shortly after midnight, when the illumination was at it's lowest, near zero percent. We lost at least a squads worth from the shelling alone. It wasn't nearly as chaotic as I had expected. We had battle drilled this pretty well, so we were ready. It wasn't long before they started to come across the berms laid out in front of our camp. But we had something waiting for them there...200 hundred pissed off combat engineers manning MK-19 Grenade Launcher, the M2 .50 Cal, and M249 Saws. They came at us from the South, having infiltrated through the under guarded ASP. They approached through the "bone yard", an area where old Iraqi military vehicles were piled up to be destroyed. The first attacker hit the trench and was surprised by multiple rows of concertina. If you've ever been caught in concertina, then you know how much the razors can hurt. This poor idiot ran full force into it and fell face first. We could hear his screams as he writhed in pain in the wire, cutting himself up more and more. The rest of the insurgents cam rushing through more cautiously, but were quickly hit by a wall of lead! I was sitting with Point #2, watching through the NVG's, and assisting the .50 cal in directing it's fire. The noise was defeaning...all these weapons going off at one time, all aimed in the same direction. I can only imagine that this must have been what Pickett's charge was like at Gettysburg. War is hell, and this was war at it's finest. I watched as our gunners tore apart these insurgents...limbs being shot off...bodies being ripped apart...and yet they still came. We were quickly joined by a QRF of Strykers who didn't want to miss the fun. We lifted fires, and they came sweeping in from the right flank, mowing everything down with their .50 cals and night thermal sights. In less then an hour, we had killed over 100 attackers, and taken about a dozen prisoners. The carnage..."
Ok...so that didn't happen at all. But Peter Han asked for stories of carnage and heroism...the above is how I've dreamt the battle going off. I can't imagine the insurgents being able to get close to our area. We're Engineers and we've done a helluva job with the force protection. In America, we have Jersey Walls...the short 3 foot tall walls used on the highways. Well, here in Iraq, we have Texas walls...12 feet tall...twice as thick as a Jersey...what do you expect? Everything is bigger in Texas! Not to mention the concertina wire, the berms, and the trenches. We're pretty well covered in the event of a ground attack.
Well, the threat we were actually expecting to hit the past few nights hasn't materialized. In fact, we've heard from reliable sources that many of the weapons insurgents have been giving to the populace to help in attacks, have instead been sold in nearby towns for the money or food. The people of Mosul just don't seem to be interested in dying by American bullets. Can't say I blame them. Many of the Iraqi locals who own stores on post have returned after being gone for 5 days. To me, that's a good sign. Means their not hearing anything that worries them out on the streets. We discovered that many of the mortar attacks in the past few days have been internal jobs from the local ICDC (Iraqi Civil Defense Corps) who live and work on our base. Last I heard, the ICDC commander had "taken care of" the people responsible and that they wouldn't harm anyone again...ever. Get the picture?
Gotta say..I thought the XO had finally reached his breaking point b/c the last few days he's been quiet as hell, and has been going to sick call repeatedly. Turns out he was getting a filling fixed which had fallen out, and he just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone b/c he didn't want to say anything wrong while he was in such an angry state. Don't know what he was angry about, but today he was back to his normal self...joking, jovial, and all around fun to be near. Thank goodness. I was wondering when he was going to return. It's amazing how one mans demeanor can affect the rest of the staff. Anyways, I've apparently been under a misperception of what is happening between him and the BC. Since it's not in my lane, and the XO is quite a professional (most of the time), he keeps his arguments with the BC behind closed doors. I just wonder when the heck we're going to start doing the staff thing again and conduct Mission Analysis of each operation that is thrown our way instead of letting the S3 and BC attempt to run the whole thing.
It's a beautiful day out right now. Sunny, clear, mid 70's, with a slight breeze. If I wasn't here in Iraq and I had Kathy sitting next to me while we drank a margarita, I'd think I was on vacation. It's so peaceful right now. I got to talk to both Jim and Kathy last night over IM. Sometimes I wonder what I would do without IM. It was great to chat with the two of them, especially Jim. Been wondering how he's doing. Took me 4 days to "talk" to him about what's been going on with him and Abbie. Those who know, know what I'm talking about. It's about time someone did it too. Let's just say I'm excited for the Monihan Family!! Woohoo!!!!
I'm also starting to fall into a type of routine here. May begin to look for other things that I can do, such as going out into the city with some of the Strykers. Need something to occupy my time. Not to mention that all the Strykers are always looking for more people to be involved in what they do. I may also be able to get my CIB if I do...based on new rules being inacted. Any soldier who performs Infantry duties in a combat zone maybe eligible for the Combat Infantryman's Badge. Don't know if it'll include women, but I would doubt that. A number of us officers are considering doing this...mostly just to see what it is the Infantry have been doing. Otherwise, I try to get to the gym daily, but I'm still putting on weight. Most of my day is boring around here...trying to put out the small fires...start new projects, etc. Rather basic I say.
WOW!!! Just had 3 F-16's fly overhead...very low overhead for these jets. First I've seen/heard them around here. Wonder what they were doing here? Hmm...maybe I should walk up to the TOC and check....yeah...I think I'll do that.
12 April 2004 - I just received what I think is one of thhe best care packages I've ever received, and it came at the right time for me. You see, at the time I'm writing this, we're currently under a severe threat from the Al Mahdi Army. The Intel is reporting that a very large group of trained Al Queda anti-armor and artillery experts have been moved into Mosul to assist the insurgents. Their mission is to create another Fallujah where a FOB is attacked an overrun...and this FOB is the one that has been named. After yesterdays near successful attacks on the DFAC, I have no choice but to believe the reports. Yesterday, when the DFAC was mortared, the attacker actually came close to hitting the building...they actually bracketed it with the three shots they had. Seriously...this is the first time this base has seen this type of mortaring. We also have found a couple of caches in our ASP that weren't supposed to be there...which means that someone(s) have already infiltrated the back 40. This is bad, b/c all reports show an attack coming from the outside in and not the inside out. We're on the highest state of alert, and to be honest, I'm really concerned that this unit isn't really ready to repel a massive, coordinated attack. I am praying that my training and natural abilities come out and provide me the strength, tactics, and skills to help lead these soldiers to a victorious defense. Hell...after 2 1/2 years with the Infantry...you would think I might have learned something that may be useful. Let's be honest...I am actually a little scared, but I think that is only natural. The BC doesn't appear to be sleeping much lately, and I can't say I blame him. He has a lot on his plate right now.
I wasn't going to write this tonight, but something was included in my care package that I felt I had to respond too. There was a video of the "party" where my care package was created. Family (yes...I consider you all family) got together and created this video while they so diligently worked on my care package of Easter candy and sundry items (which I am so glad to have). So after watching this video, I have a few comments. Those of you who these are pointed at, know who you are. If you're not sure, then maybe you all should rewatch the video...it's so amusing.
First off...to be honest...this video
made me cry at least 4 different times...and I needed that!! I haven't been
showing many emotions other then some anger since this recent alert came up, but
the few good cries I had were much needed.
- I am a (nose) digger...it runs in our fammily. My grandfather was a digger...my
father is a digger...both my brothers are diggers...you can say I was destined
to be a digger.
- I miss Baja!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmm!
- If I had to decide right now, I am definiitely not a lifer...but as hard as
this deployment is...it is something that is in my blood....it is something that
I have trained for a long time to do...and I know I need to be on this
deployment...the end of this ordeal will ultimately determine where (if) I go
with the military.
- "Hi Brendon!"
- What are you all teaching B to make him wwant to kiss himself in the camera
screen? He's too young to be practicing smooches!
- My Kat has serious issues with flipping tthe bird to the camera..
- Trev eating the Burrito....you know I havve been gone a long time when watching
that was exciting!!! j/k
- Spaceballs!! Classic!!! Better off Dead? Not the greatest all time
anything!!!!! "And to drink...Peru!"
- "HOOAH" Brendon!
- One trick pony....2 pump chump....only myy friends would admit that!! (Watch
the video)
- My parents spend waaaaaaaaaaaay too much money on dinner sometimes.
- Prairie Oysters?!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!<
- Trev and B look soooooo much alike.
- After seeing Dad and Brendon...he needs aa grandson. Someone in this family
better get on that and start
procreating!!!
Not It!!!
- "Righteous! Righteous!" On the second 500 ft drop as we came into
Mosul Airfield, I said that and had 4 soldiers look at me! Only one got it and
laughed! I am a man of my word.
And finally...I love you all...my family....my friends....my support! You all have no idea how much I treasure you all! I pray nothing happens to me...but if it does I'll take Dad's advice and "kill them all!" (Or as many as I can take out before they get me!)
11 April 2004- It's Easter Sunday, and I missed the sunrise mass. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. Oddly enough...I've been having a lot of sleep problems lately. I haven't been to the gym in two days, and I wonder if that's part of it. I know last night was supposed to be the worst of the hostilities as Intel has reported it. It was a quiet night for us on this Base. There were a number of other attacks on other bases, but apparently nothing that the coalition forces couldn't handle. Mostly small arms gunfire. Nothing big. No vehicle borne IED's. No mass of crowds trying to storm the gates. AND I'm glad. Today has been a quiet day as well. No real Intel to report. Since it's Easter Sunday, I've decided to take a couple of hours and relax and reflect on things.
(much later) Well, I feel pretty good. Got to take it easy most of today, although I do feel bad that I missed Easter services. I feel even worse that this is the second Easter that I've missed church with my wife. I was bad boy last year and went out to play golf on Easter...not going to do that again (you hear me Trev?!). This time, it wasn't my fault or choice. I got to watch a couple of movies during my down time. Watched the Three Musketeers and The Italian Job. Both very good movies in their own rights. Three Musketeers put me in a good lighthearted mood, and I think it allowed me to enjoy The Italian Job more. I also got to talk to Kat for about 2 hours tonight. Man! It's amazing how my night is brightened whenever I talk to her. Just something about my wife that does that to me. Sometimes I wonder how we can still talk for 2 hours, but it's sooo easy. Since I call her late my time, it's usually fatigue that forces me off the phone (or I run out of phone minutes), otherwise I think we'd talk for 4 or 5 hours. Hmmm...like in the summer of '99 when I was still courting her...we'd stay up all night talking or IM'ing to each other. Phone calls got expensive. I still remember sitting down after dinner to talk to her, and not getting off the phone until 3 or 4 am....my satellite TV playing ESPN or CMT in the background. Ah...brings a smile to my face. Kat also gave me some good news about he neighborhood....our neighbors are moving!! YAH!! No more thumping of the music all night...the 5 boxes of empty corona bottles every morning....the eight adults living in one townhouse...wish I could afford to buy the darn place and be in control of who moves in next to us. Jim...any ideas on how to do this? Especially on our salaries? Oh oh!!!! AND the kitchen will be completed this week. I can't wait to see the pictures. I'm so excited about having a new kitchen!!! Hehehehehehe. Of course...bad thing is that I don't get to be the first one to cook in it <sniff>. That's a little depressing...our new kitchen and the cook in the family doesn't get to christen it. Oh well...crying over spilled milk won't make it right.
So...with this weekend having been Easter and some Muslim holiday (don't remember the name...sounds like Al-something). The Iraqi Nationals on base have been nonexistent...not to mention that they all fled with their families until the planned hostilities are over with. We got mortared pretty good today. 4 hit inhabited targets in a matter of 2 hours. One of the other Sigo's on base wasn't too far from one of them when it went off (no injuries in all cases). He was describing it to me while at chow, and he said that there's nothing worse then hearing a round coming in, as it gets louder on your position, and not knowing right where it'll land. You see...I haven't heard but one mortar flying through the air, and that flew over my head and out of earshot pretty fast. The other 3 rounds hit near the Dining Facility (DFAC). Maybe it's just me, but whoever was shooting today appeared to be more then just the hack arbitrarily launching off rounds to harass us. This one seemed to understand the concept of triangulation, although he was still pretty far off. AND the mortars fell during the end of the lunch hour. Someone out there had a clue this time what the hell they were doing, or so I get the impression. The S2 says otherwise, since there's no conclusive proof, especially since he didn't seem to hit his actual target. Since where our Battalion is at isn't really a high population area, I'd be surprised if we saw anything other then the stray mortar. The DFAC is a softer target then we are...if I was an insurgent, I would aim for it too during either lunch or dinner. Anyways, as I write this I can hear multiple Stryker vehicles going out...probably on a raid if they're taking out more then 4 Strykers...and that's what it sounds like. I hope they get mortarman...he was on vacation for awhile but he's back. We need to put him on a permanent vacation.
I'm also going to try and write this only once or twice a week. I can see this getting really big really fast if I write every other day. Some weeks it'll be more often...some it'll be less so. Just so you all know.
Well...time to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day. If it's like today, then it won't be all that bad. I hope you all enjoyed your Crown Roast (you know who you are)!
09 April 2004 - Well...I'm writing this with some trepidaation. We've reached a point where our internal bickering amongst staff isn't nearly as big of a deal as it was. Today is the anniversary of the fall of Baghdad from a year ago, and it appears things may be getting a little heated. Our base has assumed the highest force protection status we have. The intelligence is calling for mobs to form in the City, who will be looking for Coalition Forces as targets of opportunities. All our convoys have been stopped, so now we're under a convoy suspension order. None leave without the Brigade Commander's explicit permission. Not even LOGPACS are allowed to go to bring supplies to distant bases. The Al-Mahdi Army from down south is said to be sending up bus loads of people who will be used to incite crowds to riot, and to attack US forces. Our Intel Officer doesn't think it will be as bad in the City as some higher up are making it out to be. He has a pretty good feel for how the people in the City view Americans, and 99% of the people here are thankful for us being here and doing what we're doing. If the 1% rise, it may swing a few more over to their cause, but not the mass amounts of people like Fallujah is seeing. Our Battalion Commander has us all wearing our Body Armor 24/7 except for when we're sleeping...just in case. The amount of rockets and mortars has increased, but apparently, so has their inaccuracy. Today we had 5 rockets launched at us, and 3 of the 5 shot well over the base. The other 2 hit in uninhabited areas of the base. Not too much to worry about I say.
The issues with the XO are slowly beginning to work themselves out. I talked to him, and it he's been giving me a rash of shit mainly b/c he says he's trying to bring some levity to our situation, and it appears that ridiculing others is his way of doing that (and right now I am his target). Not sure I agree with him, but oh well. Guess I'll just play along and try not to piss him off. I think he has to work on his stress management and micro-managing issues. Maybe make things easier on him. He's trying to do too much and it's starting to show (in my humble opinion that is). I also think all of us staff officers need some type of break...day off or something. We've been working too hard since we got here. I can see the burn out beginning to take affect on the XO, the S3, the S4 (in a small way) and on me. The other staff officers seem to be doing alright, but somehow I think it has a lot to do with them not being held personally responsible on any of the stuff they're section is required to do. The S1 certainly doesn't get blamed if there is a personnel issue...his whole section gets blamed. The BMO is never held accountable...the company XO's are held accountable for maintenance issues. Amazing how I get blamed for some other soldier over 100km away, not following the commo plan put in place. I guess I'm taking this too personally. Maybe I need to just relax a little.
I'm going to try to get some sleep, but I'll be surprised if I can. I'm not going to sleep in my body armor...that would be too much. Our defense plan is pretty good, and since this is an Engineer unit, they've done a good job of setting up berms, walls, and vehicle ditches. We'll see how well everything holds if anything happens.
07 April 2004 - Ok...so today was a bad and good day. We finally got our TACSAT working after screwing with it for 4 days. Brigade finally made the trip down from the Palace to our FOB, and assisted us. It only took me 3 days of asking, and then the BC finally having to say something. And it was a small little setting that was throwing the whole thing off. Well, it's fixed, the XO is off my back for now, and I can move on to the next thing on my ever growing list. Whew!! I'm so glad that is fixed!!!!!! Sometimes Comms suck. Hated when things don't work, ignored when they do. XO Is still riding my ass.
I need a vacation!!!
Gym opened yesterday, and I managed to get there today. It's not the same as the gym I used at AOL. I have to modify my workout, but it's a nice break from the crap we have to put up with here. The contractors did a nice job in getting the gym setup. Full basketball court, aerobics room with padded floor and wall to wall mirrors, a free weight room with plenty of free weight, a section of hammer strength machines, and of course some cardio equipment. Cardio is rather skimpy...mostly elliptical trainers, a recumbent bike, and a stair climber. BUT hey...it's something and I'm glad to have it available. Maybe now that I've started to work out, it'll help me sleep better at night. Maybe work on my back.
05 APR 2004 - HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY KAT!!! Somehow, this doesn't quite have the same effect as saying it in person. No matter what Kathy says, I still feel bad that I'm not there to celebrate with her. 30 isn't old, but some people say it's the beginning of the end. I personally, think it's the beginning of the best years of our lives. Tim McGraw sang it best when he said "My next thirty years will be the best years of my life / Raise a little family and hang out with my wife / Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear / Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years!" Somehow, this phrase always comes to me when I think of the fact the we're both going to be the Big 3-0. I got to talk to Kat and Jim on the phone today. It's about time since they've had the phones and internet turned off due to a soldiers death a few days ago. The Army's futile attempt to keep this info quiet. Personally, I didn't even know it happened until I asked the S2 why everything was shut down. Now it makes sense. And here I thought it was just due to technical issues. Been having a rough couple of days. Somehow I've become the target for all the XO's ire, and a number of the staff seem to find it amusing to keep harping on communication systems that I can't just shit out on a moments notice. It's making me feel more isolated in this unit then I did already, not originally being from this unit and now my battle buddy is away for a long time running her missions.
It's difficult to try and get these people to stop blaming me if their systems don't always work the instance they pick them up. Let's take for instance the Satellite phones. These work just like cell phones, except that they have to acquire a satellite signal to work. So the battle captain is trying to call all the satphones in our battalion, and no one is answering them, so I get blamed for the equipment not working. I get the glares and evil looks whenever these are brought up. It does me no good to say anything, and somehow I think I'm just taking this all to seriously. THAT"S IT!! I'm taking this communications thing to personally. Why should I get all bent out of shape over whether these systems work or not. I should just act like the other staff officers, and just shrug my shoulders and say "Well, my section will look at it." Wait! I know why I don't do that. BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONFLICT WHERE PEOPLE ARE DYING!!!!!!! Taking these things personally may be the only way to get this to work...instead of just taking the National Guard Annual Training mentality and not worry about it.
Our new gym opens tomorrow and is a 24/7 facility, and not a moment too soon. I need an outlet other then running around here (which I haven't had a chance to do much of). I need weights and what not...maybe a punching bag to work out my aggressions!! I can feel a lot of internal anger, and I think I just need a good release for it all. Honestly, after talking to Kathy and Jim tonight, I did feel much better. The AT&T phones were having issues, so Jim and I had to cut our conversation short. It was good to talk to them both, especially Jim. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to, and it's amazing how much I miss that. When I was home, it wasn't all that big of a deal b/c we both have our family's we're starting, and basically new careers, so that was consuming a lot of our time. Now...with me here and having limited time to call anyone and my own thoughts most of the time, it has become more obvious to me how little we both have talked since I was mobilized. Here's some things I hope everyone understands about this deployment so far...Since getting here, I personally haven't seen/done any of the following: a dead soldier, a soldier who has been shot, a single drop of blood, an IED going off, someone being shot, me having to shoot someone, any sort of munitions being fired at us, etc. Basically, the worst thing I've had to deal with here has been this unit, the dust, and the blister on my foot that hasn't gone away since day 3. I know I've been near rocket and RPG's exploding, but I've always been indoors when they've gone off, or out of eyesight. I did see a burnt out Stryker...poor thing was cooked to a cinder. Thankfully, no soldiers were killed in it as I was told.
Well, time for bed. I have more fires to start tomorrow and more people to piss off I'd say. Guess I need to be well rested for it all.
In parting, these final words:
Happy Birthday Kathy!
Happy Birthday Deanna!
And Jim.....I'm still considering the career change we
discussed. :-)
04 APRIL 2004 - XO kicked me out of the conference room, so I have some time to sit and type. It's about 1600 here, the weather is great (mid 60's, light breeze, very sunny). It rained this morning...first time it has noticeably rained since I've been here. The Army weather service said that no rain was expected today, and they were still saying that as the rain came down. Idiots the whole lot of them. Guess we need to find an Air Force weather group. So, I'm getting over a cold I had. I've got to run and get some anti-malaria pills. I'll write more later tonight.
cont'd.... sheesh!! What a day. It's now 2337 and this has been one hell of a day. It started out alright. Things this morning were fine up until about 0900, at our daily staff meeting. I got slammed with taskings out the butt!! "Set-up the tacsat!" "What's going on with the IKSS system?" "SIGO!! Why can't we talk to our units out west?" "I need internet!" "Why do our phones suck so much?" Holy Jesus!!! I felt like I was back in the 101st with the Infantry. They ask for everything and expect it to be ready at a moments notice. I figured these Engineers would be smarter and be more patient. I was sooooooooooooo wrong!! I know we're supporting an Infantry Brigade, but this is still an Engineer Battalion, and they're acting as stupid as the ground pounders! I started this with 8 soldiers (plus me and my commo chief - total of 10). Now I'm down to 4 soldiers and me and the commo chief. I just got beat up, and to add some sweet vinegar to that wound, one of my NCOs is becoming a problem. He apparently has problems sleeping at night, and today he overslept until 1100...and the workday starts at 0700. I was hoping to give my commo chief the day off since he's been working his ass off for weeks. BUT NO!! Since this issue was an NCO issue, I had to bring it up to the Commo Chief so he could handle it. Lord knows (as does Kathy) that my temper flares up fast, and it doesn't take a lot when I'm stressed. Well...if I had counseled my problem NCO, I can guarantee you it would've been a flare up that wouldn't have quieted very quickly. I had put up a list of priorities to be done, and the tacsat was one of them, so we had reliable long distance communications. The NCO who overslept was responsible for this. He started yesterday, and when he didn't have it up and working by 2000, he decided to end his day, go take a shower, and watch some movies. Now, where I was taught, if communications are down, then we as commo soldiers don't sleep until it's in, or we've exhausted all our possible means available. I thought I could ease up on these guys and allow them to work at their pace, to provide them the freedom to show they can make things happen. BUT...this same NCO is over a week late on setting up our TOC's final commo systems...and he's taken his dear sweet time to get this tacsat operational...and now he's oversleeping. Earlier in the day, I had asked him how the tacsat was going, and he starts telling me that he called Higher HQ and they said that the Brigade is monitoring a different channel then what we're monitoring. So this NCO is trying to set-up the tacsat using information some lower enlisted told him over a tactical phone, when I provided him a sheet with all the data he needed for the primary and alternate satellites he could use. He keeps arguing with me that the Brogade is monitoring something else, and I keep telling this NCO to look at the sheet he has in his hand and find the specific channel I designated. He still argues that this is the wrong information, so finally I tell him to get the hell off the roof (where the antenna is located) so I can show him what I'm talking about. He proceeds to rip his kevlar off his head and throw it off the top of the building, having it hit and dent a civilian vehicle that the military is leasing. He basically threw a temper tantrum and copped an attitude. Literally, he shoved the paper in my face and said "Show me what you're talking about!" So I did. Ok...I like to think that I'm an easy-going kind of guy, which is probably why so many soldiers here can talk to me. And I believe in taking some shit from soldiers who produce results on a regular basis, but this NCO finally pushed me to my limit...not to mention that I have had the XO riding my back all day about computers, internet, and maybe a comms system here or there! Today, I almost reached my breaking point with this fucking unit and told them all to go to hell!!
So, there's more to this day from hell that I have to mention. Not only did strife in my own section cause me heartburn, but I also found out that I have been removed from the considerations for the HHC Company Commander position. No reason given, other then the Battalion Commander has said that "to relieve a commander would ruin his career" and that he didn't want to do that. Personally, I think this worthless piece of shit we call a Company Commander needs to be relieved so he can finally open his eyes and see that he's more of a detriment to us then an asset. AND our BC...what a whiny worthless piece of shit he's becoming. He makes stupid decisions and promises he can't keep...he doesn't give anyone a chance to succeed at anything, mainly b/c at some point in his career, he's held all the staff positions (except my own...and he leaves me alone b/c of it)..all these staff positions in THIS UNIT and he thinks he knows how it all should be run!! This BC has been in the 276th since he was a 1LT...and only last year did he finally move out of the 276th. How sad is that!!! I hate the Guard sometimes. Oh yeah...also...today...our XO finally got so fed up with our worthless Battle Captain (who incidentally has been relieved of his duties twice since we got mobilized) and the TOC NCOIC that he has taken over as the TOC OIC. Our S3 is a weak link in our staff b/c...well...he's just a weak link. He knows too much stupid stuff, and not enough tactics. He feels like he has explain everything, no matter how small it may be. He is incapable of answering the question directly. Now the XO has double duties b/c of the weak S3 section. I have to admit that I am at a serious loss...I don't know how to handle a unit that has such ineffectual leadership/officers in it. For most of the day, I kept pondering how the hell can I get away from this unit. Short of seriously injuring myself, it doesn't look like I'll be able to get away. Maybe I can go to my Advanced Course while I am here and get away for a short while.
And the icing on the cake...I decided to call Kat tonight, but the phones are all shut down all over post due to a serious incident in the area. So, now I have no way to vent other then this way. Sorry to be so depressing. I just hope tomorrow is a better day, b/c I don't know if I can contain my absolute anger over this stupid shit happening again! AND I still have a serious cough from my cold the other day. IT NEVER ENDS!!!
1 APRIL 2004 - Well, today was April Fool's day...and people were trying to get each other. Out of the 5 "jokes" against me, I fell for only one. Our maintenance tech said that the generator company was going to come in and shut down all of our generators for 6 hours to do maintenance. Now...that would mean no power to the connexes...no power to the TOC...nothing. Luckily, I wasn't the only one who said anything. MAJ Dunn was also a culprit. Ha Ha!!! That was the first one of the day, so I guess after that my BS meter was on full alert. That, or these people around here can't lie to save their lives.
I'm starting to come down with a cold, or something close to that. The temps here have dropped about 20 degrees in 3 days, so it may just be that. On top of that, we're supposed to start taking anti-malaria pills. Last time I had a cold and they gave me medicine or gave me a shot, I ended up sick as a dog and out of commission for 24 hours. But can't say that would be bad. MAJ Zollar talked to me tonight and said that I have a tendency to just flare up and jump all over someone's shit (Kathy can empathize). I blew up at this 1LT tonight b/c he mentioned having phones run to his connex for his companies Command Post (CP). Well, he's been hounding me the past few days for them, and he's rather low on my priority list right now. When he mentioned the phones, it was in front of MAJ Zollar and CSM Yancy. I assumed that he was going over my head (which he has done before). In fact, he's done the thing where he'll ask an officer for one thing, get an answer, and then go ask that officer's NCO and see if he gets the same answer. He admitted this to Dawn!! What an idiot!! So, I keep a short patience leash on this guy, b/c he's a pain in my ass. Oh yeah...just so you know Kat...It's Tom. So anyways...I need to really work on my temper. Especially if I want the Company Commander position.
On that note, I'm not sure what this meant, but the other night, I officially threw my hat into the race and asked MAJ Zollar to include me in the running for HHC Commander, should the position "suddenly open." Ya know what he did? He gave me a hug and said "Thank You!" Huh...guess I said something right. I just hope that I can do right by this unit and make things better. Nothing worse then a company with low morale. I get so much info from these soldiers by just talking to them. It does appear that the current HHC Commander is starting to do a little better now that the heat has turned itself down and things are beginning to get into a rhythm, which may be bad for me. Of course, Dawn and I work very well together since we're battle buddies and we have the ability to be candid with each other. She'd end up being my XO, so I think things would go very well. I just wish this would happen or have the rumor put to death. Alas, as I've been told by many officers, they can't believe how different it is to have a Commo officer who knows what he's doing. Sometimes I hate being so good! :-)
It's going to be odd here shortly. Dawn is getting ready to go on a mission that will take her to another part of the country for at least 3 weeks. Gonna have to find a new buddy for chow. Of course, it should help alleviate some of these rumors that have been floating around of me and LT Wheeler being bed buddies. If you all haven't heard this one, here it is: The Battalion Commander put out a policy that no soldiers are allowed in the rooms of opposite sex soldiers unless it's for official business. I know...stupid policy when everyone here is an adult. Anyways, the BC actually caught two soldiers lying on a bed together, fully clothed, watching a movie. He apparently was angry, and had to reiterate the policy. Said that it was the policy from Ft Dix he had implemented, but never revoked. Ok...none of the staff officers knew Ft Dix policies applied here. SO, a few days later, MAJ Dunn was talking with some other soldiers, and they asked the question "Why can't <soldier> have his girlfriend in his room if CPT Monihan can have his girlfriend in his room?" A little more prodding on the S2's part (like a good intelligence officer), and it came out that a number of soldiers felt like LT Wheeler and I were sleeping together, and that a soldier had seen me leaving her room at 4am one morning. Ok...I figured soldiers will just talk, but Dawn was visibly angry over it b/c someone was now challenging her integrity. After Dawn's interrogations throughout the company, it turns out that the female who was caught made the accusations about me being there at 4am. She was the one who had started the rumor, b/c Dawn and I were seen all about base together...at chow...to the px...at the motor pool...usual places a person would go with his battle buddy!! It just seemed that they couldn't understand this concept. So that was my first taste of the drama that this unit can generate. Oh yeah...and the S2 also heard my new nickname...wanna hear it? Here ya go...I'm called by some of the females here "The Sexy 6". Don't know why, but I can accept it. For those that don't know...my duty position is the S6 (that's a Signal Officer).
I was sitting outside my connex before I came in here to type, and as usual before the temp drops, the sky is clear. And it's so beautiful here, when there's no gunfire in the background. Due to the lack of electricity, much of the city is dark at night, and it allows for a wonderful view of the night sky. I've seen at least 4 shooting stars since I got here, tonight being the fourth one. Sometimes when I'm just sitting there sipping on my bottle of water, I forget that I'm in a combat zone. Then I usually hear gunfire in the distance and am quickly brought back to reality. Figures!
Lots to do tomorrow, and it's a shortened night b/c of Daylight Savings Time. Yup...that's right....we're going to fuck over this country too by giving them daylight savings time. WHY!!! What good does it serve? These people here work by the rise and fall of the sun anyways. They don't even use watches and clocks in most of the villages and such. But, somehow the CPA here thinks it'll be a good idea. I, personally, don't think so!! Oh well.
Last thought before bed...I wish I was home for Kathy's Birthday. I miss you. Happy Birthday!!